A Stranger Strangely
I go to Lancaster University and work with sandflies. Sandflies are a small insect that carry a parasite called Leishmania which cause a disease known as Leishmaniasis.
More about me: Liberal, pro-choice, progressive, scientist, agnostic, student, entomologist, democrat, American
Things I like: Reading, swimming, quilting, costuming
I will always do my best to give credit for any graphics (pictures, gifs, videos, etc) that I use. Anything I myself put up is free game and doesn't need credit except for my own personal photography. Any pictures that I've taken myself will be tagged with #my photography.
I would totally put my face 4 inches from her chest and scream, “I’M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!” And I’d make a point never to take my eyes off her boobs until she got so uncomfortable and creeped out that she decided to leave, go back home, sit on her bed in the dark, and think about how completely stupid she was to write “STILL NOT ASKING FOR IT” while asking for it.
This woman’s a disgrace.
But she’s not asking for it. This is a human body, nothing more, nothing less. It’s not being sexualized, in fact, she’s covered her nipples too. I’m sorry, h-plus, that you feel that your body and the body of other women should be considered a disgrace. Do you feel uncomfortable when looking at pictures in the doctor’s office of a woman’s naked body? And do you, leftybegone, get uncontrollably horny at the same sight? Control your python (or garden snake), man, you’re not 12. Have some maturity over the matter. If you did that to that woman, leftybegone, you’d just be putting a bad face on us guys, making us seem like sex-crazed, immature horndogs. Maybe you are one, but I’m tired people making that assumption of us as a gender. It’s disgraceful. She wouldn’t think it was stupid of her to do that if you did. You’d just make her movement more powerful.
Rape (noun):the crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.
Men aren’t primal fucking animals. They’re humans that are completely capable of resisting their urges. I bet you (leftybegone) are a kid with some serious hormones since you, obviously, can’t control yourself.
“She was asking for it”. Really? Can you really blame an individual for someone else’s lack of control? The mere fact that a woman is more likely to be assaulted if she wears certain types of clothing does not make it right. She could walk around naked and that still doesn’t excuse rape. The solution to the problem is not for women to “dress less slutty” but for men to realize that a woman’s choice of dress is not an open invitation to sexual assault.
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but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you
We (men) are not fucking sharks!
We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct
We are capapble of rational thinking and understanding.
Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it.
Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.
Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them.
You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed.
What is so fucking difficult about this concept?
Reblogging for bolded commentary.
It’s really kind of sad that guys paint themselves as creatures that can’t control their own urges, and then get upset that women don’t feel that they can trust men. If you go to the beach, are you horribly tempted to have sexual relations with every woman in a bikini? I would hope not. Grown, responsible men are more than capable of not being libido-driven pigs.
Always reblog
(via justf0rk)
Even worse than a friendzone
I’m getting sick of the term friendzone.
Me too. And, more than that, I’m sick of the people using it.
Women are told almost constantly—by the media, the government, and the overall attitude of society—that our bodies don’t fucking belong to us. The mythical friendzone is just another way for misogynists to enforce that idea while getting to play the victim.
It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.
But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.
And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love or my pussy.
“Our house was small, and when you grow up with domestic violence in a confined space you learn to gauge, very precisely, the temperature of situations. I knew exactly when the shouting was done and a hand was about to be raised – I also knew exactly when to insert a small body between the fist and her face, a skill no child should ever have to learn. Curiously, I never felt fear for myself and he never struck me, an odd moral imposition that would not allow him to strike a child. The situation was barely tolerable: I witnessed terrible things, which I knew were wrong, but there was nowhere to go for help. Worse, there were those who condoned the abuse. I heard police or ambulancemen, standing in our house, say, “She must have provoked him,” or, “Mrs Stewart, it takes two to make a fight.” They had no idea. The truth is my mother did nothing to deserve the violence she endured. She did not provoke my father, and even if she had, violence is an unacceptable way of dealing with conflict. Violence is a choice a man makes and he alone is responsible for it.”
ITALY, 1990’s
An 18-year old girl is picked up by her married 45-year old driving instructor for her very first lesson. He takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and forcefully rapes her. Threatened with death if she tells anyone, he makes her drive the car home. Later that night she tells her parents, and they help and support her to press charges. The perpetrator gets arrested and is prosecuted. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.
He appeals the sentence. The case makes it’s all the way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator released. In a statement by the Chief Judge, he argued, “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex.”
Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call to action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same, which in turn spread to Patricia Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, and Denim Day in LA was born. The first Denim Day in LA was in April 1999, and has continued every year since. ©
This year Denim Day is April 25th.
I have a PSA for you.
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I am 30 years old. I am a virgin (primarily by choice). I have never had sex with anyone. I have never been on birth control.
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I’ve never been on birth control because I was brought up to believe that birth control was for “slutty girls” who want to avoid getting pregnant. Because I wasn’t having sex, and therefore didn’t need to worry about getting pregnant, I also never went to the gynecologist. Ever. Not until I was 29 years old and in so much physical pain that I literally could.not.function.
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1 year, 2 gynecologists, 1 D&C and many, many pain pills later, I was diagnosed last week with Endomterial Cancer, and am now facing a complete and total hysterectomy. Not the kind where they leave some bits just in case, but the kind where they take a robot and completely and totally scrape out everything that was once intended to make babies.
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And that is the best-case-scenario. If it turns out the cancer has spread, then I’m in for the hysto, AND chemo/radiation/etc.
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If your daughter comes to you and wants birth control because she is having irregular periods, because she is having pain, because she is uncomfortable, or just because she FUCKING WANTS IT- it is your goddamn duty as a loving and nurting parent— TO LISTEN AND RESPECT HER REQUEST.
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Things you may do:
1. Open a dialogue with your daughter about WHY she wants B.C.
2. Educate yourself about the benefits of B.C.
3. Discuss your (and her) feelings about sex and sexuality as it relates to B.C. (if applicable)
4. Volunteer to take her to a gyno, offer to make an appointment for her, or accompany her to the appointment if she wants you too. But respect her privacy if she doesn’t
5. Be open and understanding about the fact that she may tell you things you don’t want to hear or know.
6. Realize that her asking for B.C. does not automatically mean she plans to/is/wants to have sex.
7. Be uncomfortable about it, and about your discussions. It’s ok, she probably is too.
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Things you MAY NOT DO:
1. Shut her down.
2. Condescend or pass judgement over her request
3. ASSUME she plans to open her legs to anyone that walks by.
4. Tell her she doesn’t need it.
5. Be verbally or emotionally abusive about her request.
6. Cast upon her your ignorance about what B.C can do.
7. Flip out without listening to what she has to say.
8. Refuse to take her to a gynecologist if she wants/needs to go
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Here’s the deal parents, whether you want to believe it or not, birth control and reproductive health are not SEXUAL issues, they are HEALTH issues. And as someone who is 2 weeks away from the SOONEST oncology appointment to deal with a very terrifying issue- I will tell you that if you refuse to support your daughter dealing with her reproductive health- I consider you tantamount to a child abuser. Because you are denying your child access to life-saving screenings and medications.
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No one ever took me. I didn’t even think about it. It was never an option. I never had that kind of dialogue and now I have Cancer. And maybe being on birth control wouldn’t have changed that- but considering I have never in my life had a normal period, I have to think it would.
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If your daughter trusts you enough to tell you that she wants to look into birth control- that is a fucking GIFT and you should be grateful.
If your daughter trusts you enough to tell you she wants to look into birth control and your reaction is to respond with fear and judgement and cowardice, then I invite you to read my other blog. The one where I talk about my pain and discomfort and regret. The one where I talk about being 30 FUCKING YEARS OLD and having Cancer because nobody every bothered to take me to a gynecologist until it was too fucking late in the first place. Feel free to check in daily, I have 2 weeks to my initial oncology consult and my physical condition isn’t improving in the meantime.
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And I won’t apologize for my anger. I won’t apologize for my language. I won’t apologize for this lecture. Because the person who should have taken me— is dead. And I am having to indoctrinate myself into this, I am having to do this at least 15 years later than I should have. Because she never bothered to tell me anything except that birth control was for “sluts.”
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If you love your daughters, TALK TO THEM. They need you.
<3
This is what my pepper spray looks like. For the record, I didn’t buy it for myself, my parents got it for me. As I was walking out of Wal Mart tonight, without it, it donned on me on how fucked up it is. Not only the fact that I need the…
1. One in three women die or are seriously injured as a result of gender-based violence. Violence against women results in more deaths among women ages 15 to 44 than the total number of women who die because of war, malaria, and cancer.
2. An estimated four million women and girls are bought and sold worldwide each year, either into marriage, prostitution or slavery.
3. One out of every six American women have been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. An estimated 60 percent of all rapes are not reported to the police.
4. Approximately 96 million young women in developing countries still cannot read or write. Globally, girls account for 55 percent of children not in school.
5. Nearly 75 percent of those displaced by violent conflict are women. Displacement leaves women without access to health care, proper nutrition or education. Displaced women face a higher threat of gender-based terrorism and violence.
6. The 1994 genocide in Rwanda resulted in hundreds of thousands of violent sexual assaults, resulting in an estimated 250,000 women falling victim to HIV/AIDS. While many women awaiting treatment died, their perpetrators receive antiretroviral therapies in prison.
7. Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world that actually denies women the right to vote by law. In other parts of the world, where women are legally allowed to vote, many women still struggle to exercise their rights. For example, in Afghanistan, some women were denied the right to vote in 2009 because the country lacked the necessary amount of female staff members to provide enough polls for women.
8. With its rate of violence, sexual assault and inadequate health care, Afghanistan remains the most dangerous place in the world for women to live.
9. In 1974, Isabel Peron became the world’s first woman president, when she was elected President of Argentina. Around the world, 68 women have served as head of state in their country (not including monarchies). Currently, 38 women serve as head of government around the world. In 1997, Ireland became the first country to succeed power from one female president to another.
10. African nations have more women in parliament than most western nations. Rwanda ranks number one in world rankings for the highest representation of women at 49 percent.
Like 17.1 million American women, I have been raped.
Like 73% of survivors, I was raped by someone I knew and trusted.
Like 50% of survivors, I was raped in my own home.
Like 40% of survivors, I reported my assault to the police.
Like 94% of survivors, I never saw my rapist spend one day in jail— not because there was a lack of evidence, but because I was too ashamed and scared to take the stand.
I was wearing sweatpants and had not been drinking. I was not walking alone down a dark alley in a bad neighborhood. I followed all the “rules” for not getting raped.
Stop teaching women how to avoid being raped; teach men to not rape.
Slutwalk NYC
Stop teaching women how to avoid being raped; teach men to not rape.
